i hate the feeling, i hate the words you say just to make me happy and you dont mean it. It's COMPLICATED, and you will never know. To the extend i tend to keep all my emotions to myself.

- somehow it's better to be alone.

i felt down, perhaps i lost you. i still remember you told me not to use break up as a sentenceif there's a chance we ever quarrel, everything you say i still remember very clearly in my mind. hai, guess i really don't know how to love a person or be a good gf like what you mention to me. baby is the first time you called me follow by babe and then darling was the last i heard from you. i still thought that we could still hold on,but instate you choose to be friend ( felt a pinch in my heart) it hurts. whenever you hang down the phone i have alot alot of words in my mind that i wanted to tell you, but whenever we talk i don't know where should i start. I'm not bother-less, and certainly you do stand a place in my heart. you tell me you must be out of your mind to woo me at the first place, what am i to you? an idiot? I'm sorry if i cant give you back how much you have given to me, but i still can be there for you if you want to. guess you are starting to hate me by now, thinking that I'm just like all those girl you met outside after all, everything was just for fun? i do have feeling just that i didn't voice out, I'm not proud or trying to show off to you or what so ever. i cant change your thinking as well, don't take what you think as a conclusion. I'm not like how you think I'm. Don't have to say sorry to me, at the very end I'm just feeling disappointing that you give up on our relationship that easily and dont tell me to find someone i love soon.

I'm totally drain myself of strength & energy for the past few days totally exhausted! Power to the max as i just awake from 12hrs of sleep, cool ? has been working for the past few days. I'm puzzle in between sch & work as i have already check on the upcoming intake but its falls on July which means i have less then a month time to consider & if i miss this intake i got to wait till next year, or perhaps i shall wait till next year intake meanwhile i get my ass off for work first ? wondering wondering & my mum is busy working as well she don'thave time to accompany me down for applying my courses. Oh god! Heading to club later on with my crazy bitch. She always so slow have to make me wait for her, I'm heading to prepare bye!

I'm in joy, I'm in joy!!!! Mummy & daddy agree to sponsor me for study, woohooo! Having a long chat with them before they agree :D Attended colin 20th bday celebration @ Chevron chalet last week, catch up with friends & chit chat alot over there.  Went for jogging with vern yesterday around my hus area & totally agreed that sweating so much make me felt so awesome, had my homemade salad with vern just now, taste not bad. Gonna attend for work later @ night, more work = more money, LOL! gonna prepare now, ciaos!

Good afternoon, recalled back - meet up with zw & jeryl planning to give Rach a surprise as she is having her attachment @ TTSH, thumb up our plan was a success, manage to make her laugh like hell. Went to work yesterday night, still not bad. Now then i know red wine taste abit like vinegar (speachless) lol. Recieve a call back due to that basterd _l_ heard alot of stuff, but in my mind i already knew that such thing will happen for goodness sake your lies will never end? WELL DONE! i dont want to have any interfer with you NO MORE, and good luck to your next gf :D

HELLO! its evening time, yawn~ Yesterday was exhausted after work head down to neverland then to sabai last place was china town by the time i reach home totally like zombie already. Meeting my siao charbor later hopefully she dont make me wait again! Got to head down for work later well guess i've to rush to prepare if not later R will be very irritating again.

Exhausted , just came back from park-lane, L4D 2 with rach, zw & jeryl. Aftermath head down to have dao hui ( bean curd) & jeryl send us back. Home sweet home now, meeting my girl tmr for shopping, thumb up but got to accompany her for briefing @ 11. (yawn) Nights guys!

Heyo miss me ? Guess i dont have much viewers left ? My life now are great finally i have overcome obstacles and be sure that i wont look back anymore. Been a good girl staying at home ytd instead of clubbing how nice :D My social clock should be back to normal instead the other way round. Hanging out late at night everytimes really used up alot of my energy, sigh! Soon very soon i will get a day job. Gotto head out to work later might afraid another tired day for me :( Friday is coming and finally my dear girl are freeeeee, shiokness. I'm feeling so hungry nowwwww! Ciaos people off for lunch.

Boohoo! Finally i'm done with all my test & training felt kinda excited day by day, you know why cause i'm gonna answering live calls soon. Please pray hard for me at work, pardon me for not uploading photos cause i was like so exhausted when i reach home more over the connection thingy make me pissed off but nevertheless i will upload it when i have my free time ya. How's was your monday today people? Sure very shagg right anot, LOL! Anyway just reach home not long went to have dinner with my working mates aftermath LEFT FOR DEAD 2, funfunfun especially when i use the axe to slash those @#$#$%#!! zombies HAHAHA, sounds crazy/pervert. Ciaos people, i'm gonna have a good tight slp now to recharge my energy :D

so tired :( has not been update for quite a period of time, really shag and not on the righ mood. Thanks to him i cried again yesterday, for now everyday morning wake up work, work, work. I fear to think, to miss, to even say cause i know if i get very emotional i cant stop myself, the only way was to just vein out everything here. Just wanna be alone for the time being, i dont need companys. Key word- independent. *Brainwash,brainwash* Tmr will be better ya? Well people no worrys although it hurts to core, but atleast i am still survivng :) i should buck up, like my gf once told me sayang yourself more.